Why don’t we have cell phones?

A mess of epic proportions

After a nighttime adventure to watch some fireworks we jumped in the car to go back home. The lines to get out of the park were huge, and luckily we’re smart parents, and packed snacks for the monsters.

I grabbed fruit snacks for Huck, then Tom, opened the packages, and turned my attention back to navigating for my wife. We pulled a u-ey, back tracked, found another line, watched an insane truck drive down the wrong side of the road, dodged another car trying to cause an accident, and had almost reached the main road.

Boom, success.

“Daddy, I has a fruit snack in mine hair.”

Not so successful.

I look over to Huck, and he indeed has a half eaten fruit snack entwined in his bangs.

I mean, there should really be a parenting manual. Something with lessons on how to overcome every situation you’ll encounter. Supposedly you use peanut butter or an oil product to remove a sticky substance from hair. I was not allowed to try that. We used water and washed it out.

Huck then had the nerve to ask, “Why we no have cell phones?”

…
Because you aren’t responsible enough to handle fruit snacks!